(this is more ironic than anything i promise)

i'm kind of uniquely placed financially speaking; i work as a programmer, but most of my friends are artists, teachers or working in healthcare (not as doctors). i prioritise my personal life over my professional one, which is bound to bite me in the ass in the long term, but means that i have a comfortable enough life in the short term. the summary of all this is i get paid more than most of my friends and less than most of my peers. i top off this fun combo with living in australia where houses are considered an investment opportunity instead of a human necessity, and where our distance from the usa and small population means that things are Just More Expensive here. as an upshot owning a house one day is tantalisingly close but simultaneously practically out of reach. i set out a budget plan this year that would have maybe put me in the running, with the condition that my car and phone kept trucking along long enough that they dont pose a financial pressure. anyway, my car's required a month of saving's worth of repairs, and my phone is getting distressingly fritzy. it stopped charging completely partly through may and i was terrified that i would have to replace it, but a complete drain and charge via wireless fixed it. for some reason. anyway it has slightly felt like the world is against me this may, but things are also coming back to equilibrium. the car acting up led to me buying a bicycle, which is awesome, and the phone acting up has cemented my rejection of it as a multitool. i'm going to keep my walkman, camera, notebooks and physical cards on me like a perfect little trend-following digital minimalist, but it's nice to know that i wasnt acting like a prepper for an apocalypse that will never come

i continue to walk the tightrope of doing too little and doing too much. my art output (?? gross) isn't where i'd like it to be, i've got a bunch of fun stuff i want to write about here, a bunch of books i want to read, exercise and training i'd like to do, and i've fallen back on hosting events after moving further from the centre of town. all the while, my weekly schedule looks like this:

harrow the ninth

i finally finished the second book from the locked tomb series this month! this is the kind of book that your friends will recommend with a kind of smug, knowing grin. one of the standout features is that it's probably the only book that i've read that has large tracts written in a second person perspective, as well as it being placed in the shoes of a secondary character from the first book. it's definitely more winding and harder to follow than gideon with its introduction of alien and complex concepts of the series' greater universe, and the book goes out of its way to confuse you in general, but it handily balances and metes out its revelations to keep your engaged. my absolute favourite part, and the reason that i've branded this book as my favourite sequel of all time, is that (very minor spoiler alert) the aforementioned second person perspective scenes are recollections of the first book, but completely wrong. i would love to give more detail than that, and also discuss why, but this is definitely one of those books that suffers immensely from being spoiled.

in general it keeps a lot of what was good about gideon the ninth - the charm, the humour, the drama and action - but adds exploration into its intricate sci-fantasy world and a masterfully built piece of prose. a friend lent me their hardback copy of nona the ninth and i'm excited to get into it!

the very bad not good month

this month was a bit of a rollercoaster. i got hit with a massive case of the winter sads which ruined some otherwise lovely experiences. i might have to be realistic and rebrand myself from being a winter lover. this weird unexplained numbness was supplemented by a series of events in my personal and work life where i felt like i was criticised without due cause - the work one was particularly hair raising because the thought of getting fired snuck into my brain, which is never fun. that one has at least been resolved, but in the moment it really brought back a huge rush of self doubt and insecurity. for a couple of days i was reading into every little thing too hard; thinking that people were sick of me because they took a bit longer to respond to messages, that kind of nonsense

the very bad not good half decade

i've been thinking about how covid was the harbinger to an extremely depressing modern political landscape. before then it felt (to me at least) that there was a degree of shunning the truly regressive characters in our society, but suddenly a bunch of people felt emboldened by their mutual hatred of *checks notes* following the pretty straightforward best practices to do the best for others when asked to endure extremely minor discomfort. suddenly it feels like all bets are off with what felt like the agreed upon rules of engagement in both national and international politics. the ukraine war continues to truck along, israel is dropping anti-warship bombs on hospitals, and conflict between china and taiwan seems inevitable. you can protest and donate and call your representatives but it all feels so horribly futile. in the same way as elon musk and trumps stupid bullshit, its been made incredibly clear that a very very small number of people are actually in control, and ability and mental acuity dont seem to be requirements. the australian labor party just got voted in with a huge majority and immediately blew their goodwill by approving a massive oil drilling plan on the north coast of australia. it all makes you feel very small sometimes

three albums

recordings from the åland islands - jeremiah chiu and marta sofia honer

a lovely slow little ambient album with a progressive sort of style - simple melodies are built upon and developed as the songs and album progress

phosgore - domination

i was super into techno in high school but it sort of fell to the wayside when i needed something a little bit lower key to let me focus on assignments and the like. an art friend recommended me phosgore recently and its been so refreshing to jump into something that is unapologetically heavy and loud

green-house - music for living spaces

this bizarrely gave me the vibes of the night in the woods soundtrack? i think mostly based on the layered melodies and the energy of those melodies themselves. it has the samely homely vibe, and makes me think of sitting in a nice sunlit reading room back in your home town

ghormeh sabzi

the recipe

i learned this one from my darling persian friend('s mum), but i haven't got around to making it for quite a while. this specific recipe calls for leeks which i personally ommitted, but the dried limes are non-negotiable. i have a middle eastern grocer down the road from me who sell them pretty cheap (im trying the recipe with black lemons instead as well; they're a bit more accessible for me specifically and they have a bit less of an ammonia smell, but they're also a distinct flavour - might be a choice thats dependent on the situation). it's fairly unique, especially if you're more used to indian and pakistani curries because it doesn't contains any spices, relying instead on green herbs, lime, pepper and the flavour of beef that's been stewed for a couple of hours. the resulting dish is the definition of hearty and the herbiness gives you a tiny glimpse of the far distant spring from the frigid winter.

forgive the white rice in the bowl and also the bowl itself, this was actually leftovers from the day after